Shotguns vs Zombies

Yesterday, i learned to fully appreciate the effectiveness of shotguns against zombies!

You see, i grew up in a house without guns.  I never even had Nerf guns, because they were an ugly, unwholesome thing that my parents did not wish to encourage.  But recently, my dad has picked up target practice as a new hobby.  This is strange for me to see, but my dad is the type of guy that really goes all-out when he gains a new interest, so i had to see what all the fuss was about.

We went out back and he showed me his shotgun, assuring me that i couldn't possibly be as bad a shot as he was at first.  From what i've heard, he wasn't just trying to make me feel better about it.  I finally confided in him that i was mostly concerned that it would be loud and i would inadvertently shriek like a little girl and shatter all illusions of my macho-ness.  He laughed and said it was ok, he made a girly shriek of joy the first time he shot it.

After showing me about 400,000 times the proper technique, i asked him to shoot it himself once so i could hear it and see how much of a kickback it had, which was pretty much none, but i did not want to be like the chick on youtube that must have broken her nose with the Desert Eagle, mmkay? My dad is not above thinking something like that is funny.

So i finally tried it out and aimed too high. Let's just say i'm crap at aiming, which isn't shocking, recalling my short-lived interest in archery as a kid.  So being a good sport, i tried a second time, trying the very same technique, then bumping the whole thing up about 1/4" at the last second. Tah-dah! The big plastic bucket i was aiming at is riddled with some decent-sized holes. Yeah, that shit will hit anything you point it vaguely toward. Hippie likes.

So, the shotgun is definitely the friend of the untrained in the zombie apocalypse. They obviously take very little skill to use, and spray a wide area. However, they're really only good for slowing down a crowd; you'll want something more precise for making head shots off your back porch.  Also, remember the double-tap rule. If it stops moving, shoot it once more in the head just to be sure. The zombie apocalypse is not the time to conserve ammo.

I suggest using a shotgun to thin down the crowd, then once you've got some practice with it, pick off the stragglers with a rifle if they're still far off, and a pistol for the ones that get closer and for double-tap.  Of course, it's always good to keep a baseball bat or something handy for the ones that get within arms reach or grab a friend or family member--safety first! Shooting something that just grabbed your best friend is better left for the movies. Bash it in the face instead.